Search

Type your text, and hit enter to search:
My Area REGISTER
D. Bruce Merrifield, Jr

#8. Get Wiser Faster By Starting With “Trigger Management”


Wise ones of all types are highly valued and in short supply. “Wisdom” has now been “scientifically defined”. But, where to start? Try “trigger management”. Triggers are bothersome people or situations that cause us to reflexively behave in an uncentered, negative-emotional way. 

Here are two, wise, trigger management quotes:
  1. “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom.” (Author Unknown. Often falsely attributed to Victor Frankl)    
  2. Don’t have a $10 fit over a 5-cent irritation. (mine) (And, to pivot positively, Google: “burnt toast theory”).    
How To Reduce the Power of Triggers 

Because our uncool responses are automatic, we usually must begin with a post-incident investigation:
  1. Why did I just react - to what kind of a trigger- with what extra, disturbing emotional content? 
  2. What is it about either my genetic pre-disposition (brain chemistry) or my dented upbringing that would cause me to get over-emotional? A buddha would have: been calm; observed that- “it is what it is”; and be open to wisest, behavioral choices going forward.    
  3. Example: your boss barks at you like your Dad used to, so your sub-conscious reacts with emotional - fight, flight, or freeze - behavior. Not good! 
  4. But, what happens if we do an imaginary replay both of the recent-boss and past-Dad scenes and see ourselves: staying calm; feeling sorry for the critic who may be passing on a wound that they got from one of their authority figures; and forgive both them and us. No one’s perfect. So, in our imagination, we: stay calm, apologize if necessary and get on with an ideal (in retrospect) response. 
  5. As we – name, accept, forgive and reimagine – both present and past trigger events, the power of the triggers decline and “the space” between future triggers and reflexes expands. (Rewiring of habitual, neural-pathways is behind this progress.)  
  6. Next, we can anticipate triggers that will happen in forthcoming scenarios and rehearse good reflexes in advance. 
  7. Then, we start to be able to pause when these triggers happen in real time. We take a relaxing breath and consciously behave in a calm way. 
  8. Daily trigger work will gradually make us: less stressed; easier to work with; and evermore “self-reflective”. 
  9. Self-reflection, in turn, is a broader skill-set required for improving all wisdom sub-skills.   
Substitute “equanimity or wisdom” for “excellence” in this closing quote:  
"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit," (Will Durant) 
 

< Back to blog listing
Post on:      
Login

Planning your Visit